Love, and Misconceptions

   Recently, I've been thinking a lot about the topic of love and the very popular misconceptions that people tend to have about it. These are, of course, only my opinions on the matter, but I try my best to base my opinions in biblical truth. There are many people who seem to have a very distorted and warped view of love. People who base their "love" in how they happen to be feeling at the moment are bound for failure and here's why...

   First, let's start with this phrase. "Do they make you happy?"... I hear countless people asking this question when first finding out someone they know is dating. It seems like a nice enough question. After all, no one wants to see people they care about sad, but I don't think that should be your first question about someone. I think a better question to ask would be, "Are they following Jesus?" or "Is this a person who you could see yourself marrying?" or even "What qualities do you like about them?" There are so many things that are more important to ask. If you truly care for someone, don't just blindly support any relationship they want to get into. Happiness is a fleeting thing. No matter how wonderful a person may be, they cannot make you happy 100% of the time. Part of being a good friend is telling people the truth even when it's the hard thing to say. Of course we should always say things that are loving, uplifting, and edifying, but that doesn't mean letting someone continue down a certain path when you can clearly see someone's headed in the wrong direction. 

   Another popular comment I hear people say is, "Don't I deserve to be happy?" They tend to use this as an excuse for leaving someone or giving up on a relationship. Let's define words for a second here. The word, "Deserve," when used in positive context, implies that you have done something or have shown qualities worthy of reward. Since everyone in the world has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, every time I hear the word, "Deserve" all I can think is what we truly deserve is only terrible things. Thankfully though, God is a good, gracious, and forgiving God who gives us so much more than we could ever deserve. Not to say that we have no worth. Of course, God loves us for exactly who we are and values us much more than any of the other creatures He has created. That being said, we are not loved because we have been good enough to earn it. God's love is a free gift from Him to us because God is good. Okay, that might be an extreme example, but still you can see my point, so let's move on. 

   The word, "Happy"... We need to realize that happiness is a feeling. A chemical reaction in our body which simply cannot last forever. Feelings come and go with no form of consistency. Given the fact that no one can promise their own happiness for even a day, how can we promise to always make someone else happy? Feelings can not, and should not, be the only thing we base any decisions on, let alone relationships. If we base long term decisions on short term foundations, it is the same as building a house upon the sand. As soon as the going gets a little tough, you're ready to pack your bags. Love is not love if you're only in it for the good times, but not the bad. 

   There are many people nowadays that believe love is only sunshine and daisies, but the truth is it is not without hardships. While it is true that love can be a wonderful thing, love is also hard work. True love is being there even when it gets difficult, to try when one simply does not feel like trying, prioritizing someone else before yourself, having patience to work hard at your relationship, communicating with each other instead of shutting one another out, being honest even when it's not easy to be. 

   "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 

   True love is able to withstand any trials or tribulations because it has been built on a firm foundation. We are able to love because God first loved us.