A Gift from Tebo

Hey guys, today's topic is photography. It's something that is near and dear to my heart.  Although I'm not sure a career in the photography business is right for me, I do enjoy capturing the world in my own unique way. I love seeing the world through my camera lens. When people ask me why I like photography I usually give them the simple answer...

   "The world goes too fast nowadays. It's nice to just stop for a moment and appreciate God's beautiful creation."

... But there's a little more to the story than just that. I'd like to say I've been taking pictures my whole life and that I've always had a passion for it... but that's simply not true.

   I never truly appreciated the importance a photograph could hold until my Uncle Tebo passed away. I took photos on occasion just for fun, but I was never serious about it. I enjoyed watching him take photos. They always turned out so amazing and I admired his vision of the world. Watching him get so excited over his pictures inspired me.

   You should know I was one of those shy kids who loved to hide in the background. I would never have asked him to teach me, but he always gave my older sister pointers on photography. Instead of asking, I would overhear Tebo talking with my sister and used some of his tricks as well. I knew a little bit of the basics, but I never bothered to learn about all the technical aspects of it.

   On Thanksgiving 2012, we were spending the day with all the family as we usually did. I had brought my camera with me, which was a little strange at the time. I almost never took it with me, but that day I did. Something told me I would need it later. So, I grabbed it as I headed out the door that morning.

   All day I felt something in my heart telling me, "Go take a picture with Tebo. You have your camera. Just go,"... but I was afraid. I was very shy and I was too embarrassed to ask for a photo with him. I hated to bother anyone with anything, especially adults. I felt like it would be a hassle. Yet, something kept nagging at me... "Please, just go take a picture with him. He would be happy to do it," but I told myself I'd do it next time. I wish, in that moment, I would have known there wouldn't be a next time.

   Since I was afraid to ask Tebo for a picture, I asked my cousin, Mikala, instead....To this day, seeing that picture makes me a little sick to my stomach. Four days after Thanksgiving, my family got a call.

   I still remember the exact moment my dad called for me to come downstairs. I remember the song I was listening to and now, every time I hear it, I can't help but cry. He said, "Tebo was in an accident. We have to go." As we drove to my grandparents house, I prayed and prayed for everything to be alright, but it simply wasn't so...... Sometimes I can still hear my grandma crying... "I just want my Jeffrey back," she would scream through her tears. I can hear it clear as a bell, like I've heard it just a moment ago. It breaks my heart even still.

   I think, no matter how long I live, this will always be my biggest regret. I was so shy, and afraid that I couldn't do something as simple as asking someone for a picture together. When he died, I looked everywhere I could think of trying find a picture of us, but I failed. I never found a picture of Tebo and I together. Now that he's gone, I don't know if I ever will.

   After that day, I didn't want to miss anymore last chances. I started taking pictures with my family every chance I got, even if I looked terrible. If it was my last chance to see them.... I wanted to remember it. I wanted there to be so many pictures of me with the people I loved that I could always find them.

   I also started to be a little braver. I tried to talk as much as I could to people, even if I was afraid. It started small, but I've worked my way up a bit. I didn't want to miss anything because of fear. I've learned that when you walk with God by your side you truly have nothing to fear.

   "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Psalms 118:6

   I've come to realize fear is a lie that Satan tells you. He wants you to afraid be of things so that you can't follow God's great plan. God might not tell you His whole plan, but you don't need to know. Step into His great unknown, and see the blessings that follow. I'm not perfect in any way. Fear still gets to me sometimes, but we aren't called to be perfect; We are called to follow Jesus as best we can. It's like this...We are a container for God's light, but if there are no holes, how can God's light shine through us? If we are perfect, how can the glory be given to God? God uses our imperfections to let His light shine. 

   "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. " 2 Corinthians 12:9

   After he was gone, I also started taking pictures of everything around me. Photos are a moment in time that can never come back. It's so easy to just simply not remember, but a picture can make so you never forget. All the boring times, all the Plain-Jane days, all the just-for-anyhow goofy faces, all the smiles, and the laughter... all the little moments are the most important ones. Those are the moments that I never want to forget.

   Some people might say I take too many pictures, but in my opinion.... I can never take enough. I take pictures every chance I get, because you never know when you're last chance will be.

   Making every moment count, not just the big ones. Finding the simplest places filled with the most beauty. Taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary. Capturing a split second and having it last a life time. This is where my passion comes from. 

   Photography may never be anything more than a hobby for me, but that's okay. I take pictures for me. I truly love to do it. Never again do I want to choose not to take a photo... and then regret it. Even though I do regret not taking that photo, that experience just like any other one had a part in making me who I am today. There may be things I regret in my past, but I don't think there would be anything I would change. I am who I am and I'm happy for that. Besides, Tebo and I might not have a picture on earth, but I'll see him again someday.

   Photography has helped me grow in so many ways and it's an important part of my life. I wish I could have shared it with him while he was alive, but I'll always be grateful for this gift my uncle Tebo has left me with.

I love you Tebo... and I miss you.